Fucked on Race Day. That’s how I grew up referring to Ford. Somewhere along the line though, most of their clientele cared less about Bathurst and more about beaches, making them a major player in the 4wd space. This year they have come out with a new Ranger to appease their bogan following. It’s no AU Falcon, but still worth a look.
Ford have finally moved away from the ever-unreliable piston melter 5 cylinder found in the PX1 and PX2 to a range of upgraded and brand new donks.
The povo packs will come with the underwhelming 2.0lt single turbo 4 cylinder with 125kw/405nm. Embarrassingly, it has nearly as much power and torque as Toyotas bIG dIeSeL v8, which is just over twice it’s size and 10 times it’s noise.
The Sport and XLT models preferred by price gouging Tradies will get the 3.0Lt v6 pumping out an impressive 184kW and 600Nm
Then we have the full wanker spec Raptor. It sports the new 3.0lt twin turbo petrol v6. With 292kw and 583Nm its sure to make those trips to pick up bag a hell of a lot quicker.
Unfortunately the turbo petrol version means it won’t be long before we hear Rangers with crackle tunes and blow of valves at the local boat ramp. Almost as cringe as fake lope idles on Cruisers…
Top spec models will all come with the new 10 speed auto. We all know how much Ranger owners love the gear. This has plenty to keep them satisfied. The 4wd system is full time, but confidential sources have told us that the low range switch in the Raptor isn’t actually hooked up to anything and is for decorative purposes only.
Check our Latest products!
After spending too much time on Tiktok, the designers at Ford have come up with Zone lighting, giving the ability for owners to stand out as wankers, even in the dark. They are expected to be adding LED whip option in next years update after many requests.
The huge central screen will be great for watching playbacks of themselves working out, and looking for their partners location on the secret tracking app they installed on their phone. It has been reinforced to cope with being punched during road rage incidents.
The Engineers have also realized that their clients absolutely froth over a throttle controller, so one has been incorporated into the vehicle. This will basically decimate every Ford Ranger Facebook group who’s sole purpose is for fuk bois to post about how much extra power their idrive gave them. The controller has a number of settings including Eco, Slippery, Double Island and Mall Carpark.
Ford have made a big song and dance about it being able to fit a Euro pallet. What owners really want to know though is how many dirt bikes it can fit in the back…
The towing and payload capacity is still well down on the Raptor variant, Ford realize that the only weight their customers lift is at the gym, and the only bags they carry aren’t of the luggage kind. Towing capacity is set at 2500kg which is more than enough for the obligatory Jet Ski. The XLT will remain at 3500kg
Cowboy Tuned isn’t important or trustworthy enough to be given the keys to one of these, probably for good reason. You’ll just have to wait and see for yourselves how they perform. Hopefully ever tightening emissions controls don’t cause reliability issues on the diesel models. Next gen Ranger. Coming to a boat ramp or F45 near you.
Check our Products on Sale!